How To Deal With Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally
Emotional pain can sometimes hurt even more than physical wounds. When someone who hurt you emotionally is a person you trusted deeply, a partner, friend, or family member, the recovery process can feel impossible.
You might find yourself replaying conversations, wondering what you did wrong, or wishing you could go back in time and change things. But healing doesn’t come from rethinking the past; it comes from learning how to move forward without carrying the same pain inside you.
Below are thoughtful, realistic ways to deal with someone who wronged you and start reclaiming your peace.
Key Takeaways
- Healing from emotional pain takes time and self-compassion, don’t rush the process.
- Acknowledge your feelings instead of suppressing them.
- Avoid seeking revenge or closure from someone who hurt you emotionally; focus on your own peace instead.
- Set healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.
- Surround yourself with supportive people who listen and understand.
- Forgive for your own healing, not to excuse their behavior.
- Engage in self-care and personal growth to rebuild confidence.
- If the pain feels overwhelming, consider talking to a psychologist for professional guidance.
How To Deal With Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally
Try these healthy ways to deal with someone who has hurt you emotionally and regain your peace:
1. Acknowledge What You Feel
The first step in healing is accepting your emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, confusion, or betrayal. Too often, we try to minimize our feelings to seem “strong.” But emotional strength doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay. It means facing the pain honestly.
Remember that it will take time to get over what happened. According to MedicineNet, emotional trauma can last anywhere from a few days to up to a few months.
Allow yourself to grieve what happened, because emotional wounds, just like physical ones, need time and care to heal.
2. Don’t Seek Revenge or Closure
When someone has wronged you, the instinct to confront or hurt them back is natural. You may crave closure, an apology, or for them to understand the pain they caused. But closure rarely comes the way we imagine.
Trying to force someone to feel guilty or acknowledge their actions often keeps you tied to the same pain. True closure comes from within, when you decide to let go, regardless of whether they ever say sorry.
3. Set Boundaries for Your Emotional Safety
You have every right to protect yourself from people who bring you emotional harm. That might mean limiting contact, blocking them on social media, or avoiding situations that reopen old wounds.
If cutting ties isn’t possible, for example, with family or colleagues, set firm boundaries. Don’t engage in discussions that trigger you, and learn to walk away when conversations become emotionally draining. Boundaries aren’t about punishing someone who hurt you; they’re about preserving your peace.
4. Shift Focus from “Why” to “What Now”
It’s easy to get stuck in the “why”, Why did they do this to me? Why didn’t they care? But staying in that mindset keeps you trapped in their story instead of writing your own.
Instead, ask, “What now?” What can I do today to heal? What can I learn from this experience? When you shift your energy toward growth and self-care, you begin to reclaim your power and identity outside of what someone who hurt you emotionally did.
5. Reflect Without Blame
Healing doesn’t mean excusing their behavior, but reflecting on the situation can help you understand patterns, both theirs and yours. Did you ignore red flags? Did you give too many chances? Reflection helps you learn, not self-blame.
6. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
Being around those who genuinely care for you helps rebuild trust and emotional security. Friends, family, or even online support groups can remind you that kindness and empathy still exist.
Opening up doesn’t make you weak, it allows others to hold space for your healing. Choose people who listen, validate your emotions, and never dismiss your pain.
7. Forgive for Your Own Peace, Not Theirs
Forgiveness isn’t about saying what they did was okay. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight they left behind. Holding onto resentment keeps you emotionally connected to those who have hurt you long after they’re gone.
Forgiving doesn’t mean reconnecting; it means you’re no longer letting them control how you feel every day.
8. Focus on Self-Healing and Growth
Channel your emotions into self-improvement. Try journaling, exercising, meditating, or exploring new hobbies. Every act of self-care rebuilds confidence and reminds you that you are more than what happened to you.
Remember, pain often leads to transformation. Let this experience teach you what kind of love, respect, and peace you truly deserve.
9. Consider Talking to a Professional
If you find it hard to move on, therapy can be a safe and healing space to process your emotions. A trained therapist can help you work through trust issues, grief, or trauma.
You don’t have to face this alone, therapy offers guidance and tools to rebuild your confidence, set healthier boundaries, and rediscover yourself.
Conclusion
Healing from someone who hurt you emotionally takes time, patience, and compassion for yourself. You may never forget what happened, but you can reach a place where it no longer defines you. And that’s real freedom.
If you’re struggling to heal or need a space to talk, consider starting therapy to help you process your emotions and begin your journey toward emotional recovery.